You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
