I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
