It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize