i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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