Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You made out with two different species that night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
