Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When are your genitals available?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize