Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
