That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Of course I have a pirate flag
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
