What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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