Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm like, not good at living.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
