Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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