Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize