she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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