these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
