i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
