Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
