I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize