i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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