Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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