Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
