My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
