North Korea, Best Korea!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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