All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
