i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
