On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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