it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
