what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
