we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I died a long time ago.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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