Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
