Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
