I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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