Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
