Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
