omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Welp...herpes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
