you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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