gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
