im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
