AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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