This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
