I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
