i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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