Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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