I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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