Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
