Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
