is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize