The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
