I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
