Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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