god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
