Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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