You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's never too late to be topless.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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