problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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