from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
