Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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