people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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