his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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